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Outdated Wedding Etiquette Rules You Can Toss Aside

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Let's face it, etiquette matters. And even more so when you are planning a wedding. These unspoken, but mutually agreed upon, rules ensure your guests have the appropriate information regarding dress, conduct and expectations. But that doesn't mean that all of the rules are "must follow."

In fact, there are a handful that wedding planners agree aren't worth worrying over anymore. Check out our guide below and remember, it's your wedding! Whether you love the old traditions or like to shake things up with something new, at the end of the day, it's up to you!

Old Rule: The couple can't see each other before the ceremony.

New Rule: No such thing as bad luck when you're marrying your person!

First looks before the ceremony are wildly popular with photographers and couples alike. Not only do they give you a super sweet moment alone before your vows, but you get perfect photos without any random guests in the background. They're also a great time to exchange little love notes or gifts, and are a more intimate way to experience that first moment alone together. 

first look wedding etiquette traditions

Old Rule: The bride is walked down the aisle by her father.

New Rule: You are your own to give away, the company you choose is entirely up to you. 

We love a good father/daughter moment, but not everyone has the kind of relationship that makes this possible across the board. Whomever you choose to accompany you down the aisle should be honored. Many brides have both parents, a grandparent, a brother or friend take on the role. And others still walk down all by themselves. There's no right or wrong way to do this one. But asking with a Marrygrams Will You card certainly never hurt. ;)

walk down the aisle mom dad bride

Old Rule: Bridesmaids can't wear white or black.

New Rule: The bride decides! 

Black and white is a tried and true wedding color scheme for a reason. As long as you feel fabulous there's no reason why you can't dress your girls in white or black. 

white bridesmaid dresses maid of honor bride

Old Rule: Married in black, wish yourself back.

New Rule: Marriages end for many reasons, a black wedding dress is not one of them. 

Black wedding gowns are rising in popularity. In fact, a whole bunch of different colored gowns are gracing the aisle. From scarlet to dusty blue, the options for modern brides are overwhelmingly endless (and gorgeous). So wear that dress, whatever the color!

black wedding dress superstition bride groom

Old Rule: The bride's parents foot the bill.

New Rule: Money is a tricky subject, and deciding how to pay for a wedding is one of the first conversations you should have after getting engaged. (read our budget blog here)

More couples than ever are footing the bill themselves, or splitting major expenses among both sides of parents (especially because weddings cost significantly more to host now than they ever have before). However you do it, don't assume that the bride's family is able to cover everything. Sit down and plan your budget with everyone involved. 

wedding budget family portrait bride groom parents

Old Rule: The bride can't wear white to her second wedding.

New Rule: The bride can wear whatever she wants.

This (sexist) rule is one you can toss out the window. A bride is a bride regardless of if she's done this before, and she is no less "pure" for it. So if she wants to float down the aisle in a cloud of white then float she will! 

In all of our years creating wedding stationery we have never met the same bride twice. So mix and match your favorite traditions and trends to create your own dream wedding. And above all else, remember that this is supposed to be fun! Happy planning!

bride groom white wedding dress

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Which old school wedding trends are you happy to see go? And which ones do you still have heart eyes over? Let us know on Instagram