Writing Your Vows - A How To Guide from Marrygrams
So you've decided to write your own wedding vows. Congratulations! This adds such a unique and intimate touch to your wedding ceremony and it's no wonder that the majority of couples are choosing this option. But with all of that excitement comes a lot pressure! And that's okay. Because with this handy guide, you'll be writing your vows in no time. So grab your favorite notebook and settle in with a cup of tea. We've got work to do!
Do's and Don'ts - Writing Your Vows
Do - Get Personal
While it might be tempting to borrow bits and pieces from other people's ceremonies, your vows should remain your own. After all, who knows your relationship better than you do? Think of specific things that your partner does that are special to the two of you, and start there. Does she always make sure your coffee is brewed and ready when you wake up? Does he put your towel in the dryer when you're in the shower? These simple, everyday moments are the foundation of who you are together. So draw from them when you're writing your vows. Because what you're really doing is giving your guests a sweet little glimpse inside your heart, and nothing you find on the internet will be able to match it.
But if you're still struggling to find a good starting place, sit down with your partner and talk about what you want your vows to accomplish. You don't have to write them together, but getting on the same page about the style, length and mood you want to convey can really help.
Don't - Get TOO Personal
That said, make sure you're telling stories and making promises that you're comfortable sharing in front of a crowd. If there are some things that you would prefer to keep private, that's perfectly fine! And if public speaking is already an intimidating thought, air on the side of tradition and keep things simple. You can always write your love a sweet note to read before the ceremony that's for their eyes only. (In fact, we encourage it! Get yours here.)
Do - Edit Your First Draft
Like all major decisions, you should give yourself time to sleep on it. Once you have vows that you're happy with, let them sit untouched for a day or two. Then, revisit them and make any adjustments or additions as you see fit. It's okay to take a few passes at writing your vows before they feel right. And you can always ask your Maid of Honor to look them over for you. Sometimes a second pair of eyes is all it takes.
Don't - Try to Write Them the Night Before
Some people work better under pressure. Myself included. In fact, I woke up super early on my own wedding day and wrote my vows that morning. But as a general rule, I wouldn't recommend it. You're going to have so much going on that day and worrying about finishing your vows should not be on that list. Of course, you don't need to write them months in advance. Because you'll want your emotions to be fresh and sincere. But try to give yourself a few buffer days, or weeks, to sit with your thoughts and give them the attention they deserve.
Do - Practice Reading Them Out Loud
It's the advice your speech teacher gave you in high school and it's valid here too. Your vows will feel more comfortable if you read through them a few times to practice. You don't have to memorize them, but just familiarize yourself with the rhythm of speaking so they aren't clumsy when you read them on your big day. You'll also notice any awkward sentences that you may have missed when proofreading.
Don't - Overthink It
Your vows will be perfect because they are YOURS. Remember, there is no wrong or right way to write your vows. So above all else, be honest. And don't make promises you know you won't keep. Make your words true to you and your relationship and just write from the heart. There won't be a dry eye in the house.
Did you write your own wedding vows? What helped you get started? Let us know on Instagram!