The Attentive Groom - How to Get Involved & Help Plan Your Wedding
Congratulations on your engagement, Marrygrams Groom! You're about to embark on the crazy adventure that is wedding planning and contrary to the old school "hands off" stereotype, hopefully you're ready to dive right in and help your bride plan.
Because here's the thing. Planning a wedding is a HUGE undertaking. And, just like renovating your kitchen or planning a big vacation, the decisions should NOT all fall on one partner to execute. It's your day too, after all! And while you may not have been planning out your wedding day since you were little, having "no opinion" is definitely a cop out.
So it's time to get excited about the event itself. Are you passionate about the music? Or do you get stoked on the idea of curating a killer bar and menu? Awesome! With a little help from our best tips below, you'll be well on your way to planning the best wedding possible.
Here Comes the Groom - Roles & Responsibilities
Communication is key. Sitting down together at the beginning of planning to divide up the big tasks is a surefire way to start your event on the same page. And the sense of pride and accomplishment you'll feel when it all comes together will add a whole new level of satisfaction to your wedding day.
So make sure your bride knows what you can't live without and where your talents will shine. And be honest! If you know absolutely nothing about flowers, don't offer to help with them. Being up front early about where you can (or shouldn't) assist will help eliminate any surprises or needless fights down the road.
And remember to keep checking in. One big talk at the beginning of wedding planning just isn't going to cut it. Keep each other updated on tasks that are complete, and which ones still need attention. And you'll find that together, your to-do list becomes so much shorter.
Stick to the Budget
Make a budget early and stick to it. The biggest wedding mistake couples make is ignoring their budget and overspending. Be realistic about what you can afford, and make sacrifices accordingly. And anytime the opportunity to spend additional funds arises, check in with your partner first. Financial surprises should be avoided at all costs.
Avoid the Impulse Invite
Verbal invitations to your wedding should ALWAYS be avoided. But one day you'll bump into someone you haven't seen in awhile and before you know it "You should come to our wedding!" just sneaks it's way out of your mouth. This is why it's so important to finalize your guest list with your bride (and family) as early as possible.
And if you realize you forgot somebody important and want them to be there - check in with your list BEFORE you offer the verbal invitation. And don't forget to remind other family members that they too must refrain from impulse invites - or soon you'll find yourself with 20 guests over budget who probably shouldn't have been invited in the first place.
Go to the Meetings
It may be tempting to skip the biweekly update meetings with your wedding planner and to just let the bride handle it. But you really should be there. Joining the planning meetings or visiting with vendors will make sure everybody always has the same information. (And a second set of ears never hurts).
Registering for gifts might feel tacky or boring, but if you're going to have a registry it's important you actually fill it with things that you'll both love and use. So head to the store together and get comfortable with your scanner. You'll be filling your new home with lovely new treasures in no time.
Plan the Groomsman Events
You're the ringleader of the groomsman circus. So go ahead and lean on your support system. You'll be responsible for making sure they know what their responsibilities are, and when they should be executed. So start a group chat now and make sure you talk about their wedding day duties as much as bachelor party planning. (And don't forget to show them your appreciation on the day of with a gift or card from Marrygrams!)
Handle Your Side of the Family
Manage your familial expectations up front and early. If your mom is dying to help plan, get her in touch with your bride. But don't tell her to just go for it. Delegating wedding tasks to family is a great way to keep everyone informed and to lessen your burden, but make sure they know that there are limits to their level of involvement.
Tip Your Vendors
Set aside tip money early on in the budgeting process. (If you need help figuring out what that looks like, read our tipping blog post here!) It will be your job to make sure tips and final payments get delivered to your planner or vendors on the day of your wedding.
Practice Your Vows
Your wedding vows set the tone for your future life together, so don't just wing it. Take some time to really sit down and think about what they mean to you, and what you're actually promising. (Another great blog resource can be found here!) And practice them! You don't need to have them memorized, but you should be familiar enough with the words that you're not just reading them.
Did We Mention Communicate?
This really is the Golden Rule of wedding planning. And all relationships, really. Because however you decide to divide up wedding tasks is, ultimately, up to you and your partner. So keep an open mind, be helpful where you can, and talk about all of the little details. There's no wedding planning problem open communication and honesty can't solve. So enjoy the time together while you create an event that truly showcases who you are as a couple. And don't forget to share the love with us on Instagram! We can't wait to see your professional images!